This last Thursday was going to be the day I finally got to get into court for the custody review hearing. This time, it got continued until December 20th, along with the order to show cause hearing because CPS didn’t send the right documentations to the court house and we (my ex’s lawyer and myself) could see what CPS along with other professionals have reported on the evaluations my child has been put through for the last 21 months now.
This time, it was a valid reason, but it still stems from the “mysterious” and “coincidental” false sexual abuse allegation from July 1, 18 days after the June 13 emergency custody motion was denied. By the time this gets heard now, it will be 21 months since my ex-spouse manipulated my visitation with my child down to almost nothing, 13 months from the temporary custody hearing from which the unconscionable arrangement was extended for what was supposed to be 4 weeks while we switched out child’s therapists. And now, having been cleared of any wrongdoing, it will be 5 more months, not because anyone thinks this arrangement makes any sense (well, anyone but my ex) but because we can’t get in front of the judge.
In the meantime, my child is getting a little older (she’s 8 now) and is getting more familiar with the territory, and she doesn’t like it. There was a bit of a small frustrated outburst today about her lack of overnights with me. It’s a tough call to be in the position of doing what I can to be sure she is not drawn into the middle of this but also acknowledging her frustration. I told her I’m working on it, and that I’ve never stopped working on it. I mean, she knows who’s doing this. It’s still my job to not blame. But on days like this, I’ll admit it’s difficult. I know she isn’t wanting to choose sides, she wants both of us. As I’ve said many times, she didn’t divorce either mom or dad.
It’s helpful for me to remember that at least the judge has some idea that mom is not behaving appropriately. And I hope it will actually get heard on this date. I remain cautiously optimistic but also know the ex’s gameplan is to do everything she can to keep her child away from dad at all costs so I don’t think anything’s a guarantee.
So, as I have been doing, I’ll continue to make the moments I do have count.