Don't Worry. It's not your end of the ship that's sinking.

April 25th, Parental Alienation Awareness day. Many people don’t know about this day and what it means—or rather many don’t have a way to describe what the effects of PA have been on them either directly or indirectly. But make no mistake. No one is an island, no one is going through their life unaffected by what is happening to those around them, and no one can get away with being a true bystander. Risky sexual behavior, criminal behavior, drug and alcohol addiction, mental illness, perpetuating the pain into future generations; these attitudes and behaviors affect us all in some way.

For those of us that have been experiencing what April 25 is about directly, often for multiple years, we know what it’s like to feel like to have our lives devastated by the effects of someone who has made it their whole lives focused on the destruction of someone else, no matter the cost. Many of us have felt so decimated inside that we can’t imagine a way out.

On this April 25, I hope that the growing number of us that are starting to turn the ship around so to speak even in a small way will reach out to others who aren’t there yet, and do what we can to make things even better. Think of this awareness day not only as awareness for others who may not know about it, but increasing our own awareness of ourselves and what we can do.

I know it’s important to tell our stories and the way we’ve been able to connect online has been helping transform the isolation and perceived powerlessness into a new energy to fight back. And, as soon as we are able, we need to take steps to shifting how we respond to what is going on around us. Hard as it may be for some, it’s important to remember that supportive people, no matter how much they may want to listen and be there, are still limited in their ability to withstand the intensity of someone else’s pain, especially if the person in pain isn’t willing to take any steps towards managing it.

What can you do for yourself other than replaying the  “It’s so horrible” track? How about “how can I really start to change what’s happening” track? It is possible, and it is occurring more and more . This Parental Alienation Awareness Day, give yourself the gift of seeking out people who can offer information and guidance. Stop spending all your time in online groups and around people where all the communications are just about the horrific-ness of the issue. Instead, find the people, the groups that are really changing situations—getting their kids back, changing their family dynamics, and most importantly finding peace in the midst of the storm.

Some Suggestions

  • Visiting Michael Allen’s PASO (Parental Alienation Solutions) Facebook groups and seeing if there is one near you. If there isn’t consider starting one.
  • Join the group I run called Beyond PA success stories. It’s meant for people looking for and able to share things, no matter how small they may seem with others.
  • There are posts I have here from my own journey about the steps I began to take which have made a huge difference, like coping skills part 1 and coping skills part 2.
  • Visit Dorcy Pruter’s  Conscious Co-parenting Institute page and sign up for the free video course. it’s really valuable.
  • Educate yourself. Look under resources on this site for more places to start.

Don’t wait to be saved.