Tips to Help Stop Parental Alienation in Its Tracks

I get emails somewhat regularly from people—a  theme I see over and over. For the sake of reminding ourselves and imparting this absolutely necessary information—it really comes down to a very simple yet powerful starting point, a “north star” if you will for either going through the process of alienation you are in and continue to live through (thus raising your chances of a good outcome in the end) or letting it devastate or destroy you.  I recognize there are those whose children have grown into young adults and right now don’t experience a quality relationship with their kids if any at all.  But this still matters.

You have only two choices at any given moment. You can fruitlessly attempt to control others, your ex, your kids, grandkids, etc. or you can control yourself.

This may sound like an impossible task, but it’s not, and it’s the only thing that will make any real difference over time. Thinking that “once I get my kids back, then I can” ( fill in the blank ) is going at it from the WRONG direction.

I’m going to guess that many have prayed for something to happen, in whatever way that might be.
But most of us can’t see the fundamental flaw in that.

God (or whatever you call Him) is not Santa Claus, and he (or she or however you hold that relationship) is not actually always testing us for a bigger plan.

Sometimes, there just isn’t room in ourselves. Who we are at a certain point is just someone unable to notice an opportunity to change things for the better, because we aren’t able to see it.
I have found and have heard countless stories of things that seem to, quote, change on their own, unquote, once they start to put in the effort on what they actually CAN change and then actually DO things to change from the inside out.

The Best Place to Start is at the Beginning

Determines Your FateOne of the hardest things for me was realizing that I helped get myself here. It took years of training by a mother who I strongly believe suffers from cluster B personality disorders, a dad who unsuccessfully tried to fix and manage her followed up by years of practice on my own after I got out of the house.

All parts of a puzzle.

For sure it affected me, my siblings, and my whole way of seeing my life including my distorted beliefs regarding how relationships were supposed to work. But now, I have better ways of unwinding these sorts of things in practical and effective ways.

One of THE most consistent ways I have seen in this growing community of people who are getting their kids back is that they must, must, must get themselves back as well. Exes and their support systems will be able to smell the odor of fear and disconnection and it’s their strength. All the amazing tools in the world will have limited effectiveness if we aren’t able to use them properly.

The way OUT is by going in.

Take in the available information on this site, and seek out the resources of people who have turned their situations around. Find out the common denominators of strategy—but don’t expect much to happen unless you make sure you recognize you can only control yourself.

And never before has more been available to help you do just that.

Photo by kirkandmimi (Pixabay)