Some encouraging and some frustrating developments. In this episode, the outcome of the criminal/Child Protective Services investigation.
To recap: On July 1, after a failed attempt by my ex and her lawyer to get an ex parte motion granted by the judge based on coached statements by my child that I had inappropriately touched them, a complaint “mysteriously” surfaced with Child Protective Services with the same allegations. While I’m not sure if it’s the same in all states, in my state they launched a criminal and a CPS investigation.
On August 25, I called the police detective who interviewed me four weeks prior and he said that they had closed the case, that they determined the allegations to be unfounded.
Three weeks later, CPS determined the abuse allegations to be unsubstantiated.
However, they did substantiate emotional neglect against my ex whom they determined—in part because of other mental health professionals who have been involved—has been coaching our child and engaging in alienating behaviors that are causing emotional distress. Big sigh of relief on that one. But of course, as has been since the beginning of the story, it’s not as clean as it might initially sound.
CPS told my ex that if she does not stop it, she risks losing the child to foster care. After the wave of relief washed over me that they had to at least some degree gotten it right, it registered that they said, “losing the child to foster care”. I asked them why foster care instead of me?
The reason, they stated, was that they also substantiated emotional neglect against me. Why? Here is their rationale:
- I am being what they called “emotionally reactive”, a term my therapist says isn’t any kind of diagnosis. They were not able to give me a clear definition as to what that meant.
- A comment my child made about something I supposedly said (which I didn’t and which I can’t figure out why they would take seriously given that 1. It’s hearsay and 2. It’s coming from a child who they’ve determined has been coached),
- My child finding out that I had given some materials on parental alienation to my child’s therapist.
What I think is that CPS went through a custody evaluation which was done last year rather than do another evaluation on our child. They said that the child was to undergo no more evaluations. That was good, but they seemed to be unable or unwilling to take in any new information. For example, they did not know that I ad been seeing a therapist and did not change their report even when the therapist wrote a letter stating my diagnosis of Adjustment Disorder with Anxiety (F4322), my substantial progress, and that my reactions have not been outside of normal range responses to the high amounts of stress my ex’s behaviors have caused.
I have made it clear to them though that although I do not agree with their finding or their reasoning, I want to do whatever they need me to do so they will close the case and make me the parent our child would go to if my ex can’t help herself. I am less interested in trying to have them see my point then making sure our child doesn’t go to strangers.